20060819

Update from the F-L-A

Ok, so terrorists didn't explode my plane
And terrorists didn't try setting their shoes on fire
And terrorists didn't try to smuggle Gatorade bottles full of napalm

But the food on the flights did suck and I hit a hell of a lot of turbulance

If that counts?

The flight here was fine I guess, I barely made it over the border because some overpaid customs Rent a Cop decided that today he was going to be a prick. He kept asking me the same questions over and over again then told me that it was suspicious of me to be going over the border with only one suitcase - that because I was "only a bartender" I had no real ties in Canada so I could easily just be trying to smuggle myself into the States

Right.

Like I'd want to live in your fucking country where just because someone has some goddamn cracker - jacks badge they think they own you

"Hey whitey - why don't you fuck off and spend more time harassing more suspicious looking folks than some 23 year old girl with a fucking campus card?"

Now, I'm not racist or anything either but on the last connecting flight here I thought I'd for sure have the entire row to myself since the flight was basically empty. Here I was all excited like to stretch my legs and relax on my way down when Muhammed Al-Sharia W?hathaveyou sits beside me clutching his bag like it carried the antidote in it.

That got me slightly worried

I know its not right to racially profile someone but fuck, come on - like you all wouldn't do the same. He looked really shifty, he kept darting his eyes back and forth the entire time on the flight so needless to say I kept my eyes on his shoes and bag the entire time

But I made it, I'm here now and it was my birthday yesterday so I'm old.

POISON is tomorrow and I'm stoked.

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