20060725

So NoToriOus

Tori Spelling came in on Sunday nite and chilled on the patio with her new love toy husband.

It amazes me, the whole "celebrity reaction". Most of the girls I work with were talking about how exciting it was and were making excuses to walk outside

Dont get me wrong, I snuck a peek but mainly to see how plastic she looked in person. She's actually a very nice girl as is her husband but lets be honest: She was famous through her late father and for her valley girl sitcom in the 80's. I wasn't jumping up and down holding a napkin and ballpoint squealing for an autograph.

Mind you, if Tommy Lee or Johnny Depp walked in there's a good chance I'd lose my job because I would be dry humping the shit out of those boys.

I've just never understood the human fascination with celebrities. I read the tabloids because I find them to be amusing. "Ooooh that bitch took my man so I'm going to date this guy and Lindsay is sucking a different c*ck each day, look at Paris she's naked!" Its the same shit, different week. Trash TV and Mag's are like a stand up routine you can read/watch over and over again.

The only time I can recall becoming tongue tied and falling over my own face when meeting a celebrity was the time I ran into Johnny Knoxville at Universal Studios in Florida. I ran up to him, just kind of stared at him as if to say something and all I managed to get out was, "You're Johnny Knoxville..." he just looked at me, said "Yep" and walked away. I wanted to take a hot bath and scrub myself clean for being such a fucking loser. I blame that on the fact that I think he's ridiculously hot so like any girl I didn't know what to say

But Tori Spelling?

C'mon.
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20060720

Hypocrisy amongst the ranks

Surprise Surprise

The skinniest, most fucked up looking, trans gender tart on Canada's Top Model won the low fat, sugar free, 0 cal cake last nite.

The one that the judges said needed to eat a sandwich.

I guess that looks good on air right?

"We don't want to send a message to all the young impressionable girls that watch this show that the only way you'll get ahead in life and in this business is if you are rail thin and vomit up all of your wheat crackers"

She's super skinny and goes against everything we are trying to teach these young ladies but fuck it, lets vote her in anyways. She'll only have some lame ass modeling contract holding a Canadian Beaver for a Tim Horton's commerical anyways.

Its fucking sick that these people can be such goddamn hypocrites. Don't tell the bitch to eat a sandwich then reward her for not eating. Pavlov would roll over in his fucking grave if he saw how poorly his operant conditioning was being used.

Whatever, anyways GO DILANA! On Rock Star Supernova. I'm fucking addicted to that show!
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20060717

I might be drunk, but you're still ugly

I'm still technically on a haitus, but what the hell, its 330 am and I'm still awake so here's a little candy for my chillin's

Basically I'm on a hiatus for many reasons

I've got way too much personal shit happening right now that I can't even begin to explain. The main bartender quit where I work so I have been pulling extra shifts like a hooker on Vanier. I've been putting in 50 - 60 hour weeks which is fucking crazy when you work at a bar and are consistently on your feet. In fact, I could have sworn my feet were giving me the finger this morning when I woke up

On top of that I've been trying to mingle in the single scene and let me tell you this: All of the attractive, intelligent, good humored and kind men in Ottawa are either

1) Taken or..

2) Gay


It honestly makes me want to become a lesbian


Its seriously a fact of life, if you aren't willing to scrape the bottom of the proverbial barrel you're destined to be one of those bitter bar maids working in a cheap ass diner on a street corner with 50 cats

Hell, I've already started naming mine.

Most of the men I've encountered are either dumb as shit or are just looking for some bimbo that can smile, twirl her hair and say "Oh yah!" when they pinch her ass. I can honestly say I've never twisted my hair a day in my life and if you pinch my ass there's a good chance a slap may follow....and not of the good kind either

So as it stands right now I'm a little too preoccupied with life and all its fun little fuck ups to really update my blog. But I promise once I figure out what the fuck is going on and why the fuck I should give a damn I'll update more.

Thanks for sticking around,

-A
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20060709

Hiatus

Im going to be taking a personal leave from my blog for a while, I just need to get some life orienteed shit in gear here so I can't commit my lazy ass to posting here for a little while.

I'll be back, I just need some time off.

See ya kiddies
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20060704

Put a cheese grater to my face....

I lost.

I lost my goddamn suit.

Why did I lose?

Well, it could be the sleazy lawyer that was in cahoots with the judge

"Mr. Anderson?"

"Present"

"Hello counsel, how are you today?"

"Fine thank you sir, and yourself?"

"Wonderful"

"Great, now if you'll just drop your pants I'll proceed to suck your dick and call it ice cream"

"Ashley S present?"

"Here"

**Scowls**

Or it could have been the fact that I wasn't even able to have my side of the story heard since the lawyer kept interrupting me and the judge didn't even seem to pay attention to what I was saying since he was more concerned about the balif giving him a new pen

Or it could have been the fact that the judge was biased against me from the beginning because I was representing myself and he didn't even think I was over the age of 18.

I'm so fucking pissed off right now. I went in there, their lawyer met with me and asked me if I was willing to settle for a "reasonable amount" outside of the courtroom. I told him the only "reasonable amount" I saw fit for the suit would be $0. He didn't seem impressed.

I explained to him the reasons why I refused to pay the $550 in last months rent since

a) They fucked up from the beginning by renting me a unit that was unavailable

b) They were unjustified in increasing my rent to $129 more a month

c) They fucked up by telling my lawyer that the $129 increase was a mistake and I was told not to worry about it, then they changed their minds right before I was supposed to give my two months notice which gave me very little time to decide what the fuck I was doing

The fucking judge was such a cocksucker too - the entire time he was looking elsewhere, asking for new pens, paying very little attention to what I was saying and was condensending the entire time to me. I wanted to fucking stab him in the jugular with his new pen. He even went so far to tell me to seek Duty Counsel because it was free and I would probably need it like I was some kind of moron. I told him I already retained counsel.

The kicker?

The whole reason for this fiasco is because they said that I was 2 weeks late for my last notice.

Well fuck - the main reason for 2 months notice is so they can tell prospective clients for sure that the unit would be available to rent

They fucked up and told my counsel that they had 60 units available to rent and they didn't even have anyone look at my old place! If I in anyway hindered them being able to rent out my unit, if they were in such dire need for the apartment and needed to know exactly two months in advance that I was moving out I could see why my late notice would be a problem

But they didn't.

They had more than enough units.

They can barely fucking rent the things out

Regardless, I'm not paying shit. Instead I filed an application to have the case basically thrown out for the simple reason that I wasn't unreasonable being late with my notice considering they never really needed my unit in the first place, that there wasn't a crazy demand for apartments there.

I mailed my old landlords the application to appear in court August 2nd.

I'm fucking determined to win this one and I hope to God they finally realize that I am NOT going down without a fight.

Bastards.

Edit: The new apatment is great, my new landlords are chill and my super is this 80-something man that is the most handy little dude in the world, he kicks ass.
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