I want to see you 1 - 2- STEP!

So I haven't been feeling the best the past few days. Queasy stomach, headaches and overall tiredness. I know its not from working since I was off of my foot for an entire week but I think school is to blame.

Its making me ill.

I won't be able to update my blog as much for the next few days until I get back on track with this school thing and actually get some work done. I am seriously the worlds biggest procrastinator.

Until then, amuse yourselves kiddies by answering my little questionnaire dealie below.

Best answers get a prize.

That is, if you're willing to give out an address in which I can send the prize to.

Let's begin.

1. If you could take any movie and have it completely redone with only monkeys as the characters, what would i t be?

2. Who would win in the ring: Magneto, Ghandi or Gandalf and why?

3. You love my blog so much because....

4. You love me so much because....

5. Cheeze whiz or Cheez-it

6. If I gave you a million dollars you would do what with it?

7. Answer: A stripper, a garden house, the 1998 Peterborough phone book and an Etch-a-Sketch.
Question: ????________________________

8. If you had to make the choice - how would you leave this world?

9. True or False: Ashley is a ranting little starlet who rocks my world

10. If school doesn't work out for me, what should I do instead?

11. If trans-gender midgets ruled the world........

Knock your boots off kiddies, I'm going for a nap.

I'm not a bad girl, I just play one on Blogger

You know whats fun?

Eating perogies and running around the house singing along to old "Boston" songs.

Right now I'm onto "More Than a Feeling"

Up next, "Don't Look Back"

You know what else is fun?

Using Blogger as an excuse to not accomplish any schoolwork.

I'm having a rather difficult time with school this year. Between non-english speaking TA's and Mr.Bojangles and his "mowses" I'm reading to gouge out my own eye balls. Sadly its a requirement for me to take most of these courses with Prof's who are almost retired and have stopped giving a shit ages ago. Especially my Data Analysis class.

I wrote to my Prof today asking him to tell me what the hell I was supposed to take from the class. I explained to him that everytime that I go in there I come out feeling more stupid than I originally did going in. It's really a problem.

You know what he wrote back with?

"Just drink a couple glasses of wine and you'll be fine."

You know you're Prof has finally given up on his hopes and dreams of challenging the clean-slated minds of youth today when he starts promoting alcoholism.

"If you can't be smart BE DRUNK!"

Nice. I'm going to pick out my "cot spot" at the Salvation Army tomorrow.

And for added effect, here is a picture of me being retarded and licking a picture of Nikki Sixx.

Because playing with the digital camera in the bathroom mirror and licking pictures of old rockstars is also fun.

They say it's gonna rain tomorrow and I am umbrella-less

Upon watching one lecture tape in my PSYC 3403 class (Addictions) I have discovered that my Professor is a fucking psychopath.

Let me explain.

You know that guy who was in 8 mile...or no I think its the Green Mile who had the "mowse" (I spelt it puroposely that way for effect) I think he was called Mr.BoJangles or something, fuck I don't remember

Anyways, the dude with the "mowse" looks and talks like my Prof. I don't know if he once had a stroke or what but I can barely make out what he is saying.

Most of the time he talks like this,

"And what happens...and what happens to the neurons when they fire, to the neurrons when they fire so rapidly" (runs to board and writes down Organicity and circles it 12 times) "Or-g-a-n-i-ciwty....Org-a-n-wic-ty. The Neuron DIES. The neuron...the neuron DIES from or-g-an-i-c-iw-ty. And its learned. It's learned. In the central nervous system. The Midbrain. Its learned in the midbrain. The chemwicals are .... the chemwicals are released in the C.N.S. And they die. The die because the learned. Or-g-w-a-n-i-cwi-ty"

I'm not even shitting you right now.

He doesn't actually "lecture".

He runs around the class room bopping people on the head and playing with their water bottles.

He goes on and on about the same thing mostly how neurons "learn" and how their memory effects the euphoric chemicals they release in anticipation of the stimulus (the drug) Seriously, in one lecture I think he mentioned this about 20 times in less than 2 hrs. *see above example

And when he "lectures" if you want to call it that, he only writes ONE word on the board every 20 minutes and proceeds to circle it about 12 times. Half the time I have no idea what the hell the word even is and well I'll be damned if he doesn't repeat its definition an additional 20 times.

Its FUCKED.

The WORST part of the lecture was when he was talking about how he wanted to know what the effects of alcohol on rats were. So he mixed himself a screwdriver, put it in the rats cages to see what would happen and they did nothing.

Then he got this great idea that maybe, like humans, they'll drink when they're stressed out.

I nearly cried when he explained how he stressed them out

He put about 20 of them on their backs, tied their little hands and feet out and let them struggle for hours stressing them out in the hopes that they would drink

Holy fuck is that even ethical????

This prof is fucked up.

I'm terrified. I have no idea how these exams are going to go.

I accept C's Challenge

"I challenge you Ashley, to write about 8 things you love and make you
unabashadely happy." - Ciavarro

All right, just to show you all that I'm not all piss and vinegar I will give you a list of 8 things that make me exceptionally happy then you can all stay off my damn case and let me go back to my usual bitter posts.

In no paticular order...

1. MUSIC. I love music. Coming home and throwing on a CD or going through my playlist especially after a long tiring day/night relaxes me. I also enjoy singing so I tend to run around my house singing into a hairbrush at the top of my lungs. Apparently I'm pretty good. Or so my friends and family tell me, but don't they have to? Typically I listen to Rob Zombie, Motley Crue, Matthew Good, Chevelle, Snow Patrol, Coheed and Cambria, Metallica and various other bands.

2. ANIMALS. Currently I have four gerbils that I am "fostering". When the animal shelter has an overflow of small animals I usually take them in. That way they don't have to be overcrowded in cages and kill each other. I love pretty much every furry animal out there. I have always been a dog person more so than a cat person. Cats usually ask to be fed and pet then they give you the big, "Fuck off" and sleep for 23 hrs.

3. SEX. I like it, it feels good, I defintely don't get enough of it but I still like it. It makes me happy.

4. OUTDOORS. I love camping, swimming, fishing chilling out in cabins with friends, bonfires, smores the whole 9 yards. I love being out of the city and under the stars just relaxing and taking in good ol' Mother Nature. Seriously, I think I should have been a feral child and raised by wolves in the wilderness because I love it out there. Minus the snakes. The snakes I could defintely do without.

5. MY FAMILY. As much as I say I hate them they are a wonderful support system. I'm really close with most members minus my estranged father who only calls me on holidays and my birthday because my stepmother is a psychotic ho-bitch. I talk to my mom pretty much every other day even though she lives in Florida just to keep her up to date with my life. It makes her happy.

6. CRIMINOLOGY. I seriously can't wait to get my degree and catch the bad guys. I don't want to be a cop, I really want to be a Forensic Psychologist and interview dangerous offenders. I genuinely think it would be an interesting and challenging job but what the hell, sure beats sitting in a cubicle from 9-5 surronded by non-sensical Dilbert comics.

7. SHOPPING. I'm a serious addict. Retail therapy I think is the greatest thing out there. I can blow over $500 in half an hour and not even flinch. I especially have a thing for panties. For some reason I feel the need to buy a million pairs at once. My drawers are stuffed with panties that still have the tags attached to them. And PUMA bags. I'm a consumer whore and I love how they looked. Especially the big ugly ones in colors like lime green and cyan.

8. BLOG RANTING. You know it, I know it, I love it and I'm good at it. Don't ever take it away from me so that I won't have to hurt you with rusty spoons.

Things that make Ashley want to hit people in the face with blunt objects #305 - #315

In no paticular order....

#305: People who walk in groups on the sidewalk and make you step into the road because they won't break up their little "sidewalk posse". Next time, I'm throwing people in front of buses

#306: People who get off the escalator and stand at the very end wondering if they should go left or right. MOVE TO THE FUCKING SIDE SO THAT THE REST OF THE PEOPLE CAN GET OFF YOU MORONIC FOOL. I'd have to say thats one of my BIGGER pet peeves.

#307: When I ask for no pulp orange juice and the server gives me pulp orange juice. I really despise pulp. I hate it more than tomatos and man, I hate tomatos.

#307: Store clerks who get all up in your business when you are just browsing or know exactly what you want already. Seriously, if I need your help I will approach you - sometimes these guys are worse than fucking parasites. If you need a host body approach someone else.

#308: When you've already told one store clerk that you were just looking and then the rest of the store approaches you asking if you want help. Look, I've already told the other broad that I'm O.K., what makes you so goddamn fantastic that I might need your magical insight. I understand its your job to HELP - so when I NEED it, I will ASK for it.

#309: Middle age fat balding men in a collectors Spider-Man suits living in their parents basement creating super-viruses that attack my computer just because they are 50 year old virgins and bitter about it. I suppose 14 year old little acne ridden punks that get off on making Trojans would fall under this category too. I'll even bet that they invented the name while they were looking at the 100 year old codom pack that will never be used by them.

#310: Annonymous bloggers

#310: People that stand in the middle of the halls and doorways to have a conversation while everyone else has to squeeze by them because they are too oblivious to the fact that they are fucking idiots and in everyone's way.

#311: People who walk ridiculously slow and do so in the middle of the sidewalk so people can't walk past them

#312: People who put their bags on the seat beside them on the bus or sit on the end seat so that no one else can sit there. Seriously, fuck off Queen-Of-Sheeba - you're on the goddamn bus as well so you're no fucking better than the rest of us. Move your shit and accomodate another you uptight ass.

#313: Friends and family that sing along to the radio but don't know the words so they either:
a) Keep singing anyways while pretending that they do know the words
b) Mumble the words they don't know
c) Make up their own words or borrow lines from other songs
IF YOU DON'T KNOW IT, DON'T SING IT! THE REST OF THE PEOPLE MAY ENJOY ACTUALLY HEARING IT - THANKS

#314: People that talk ridiculously loud on their cell phones in a public place. Yah, we got it already, you're a big wheeler riding the bus and talking on you're phone. You're so goddamn important we bow down to your superior multi tasking and popularity.

#315: People that do not remove their shoes when they come into my apartment. Next time I'm running through the mud and dragging some big ass boots with crap all over them through your place.

%^&$#@%**(^%!!!

I've sprained my ankle. It fucking kills like a son of a bitch. I was walking out of class this afternoon and turned my head to look at this guy and I tripped, fell over myself and landed on my left foot. Its all swollen, cut and bruised.

It looks like shit
It feels like shit
I'm ready to amputate

I was scheduled to work a double tomorrow but I can't even walk so work is pissed off at me due to circumstances beyond my control. What a bunch of fucking assholes.

Like they'd have grounds to fire me for that anyways, what the hell would they write on my pink slip? "Grounds for Termination: Act of God"

Morons.

But the Tylenol 3's make it all better....

My Most Heartfelt Sympathies

On Sept. 8th, 18 year old Jennifer Teague just finished her midnight shift at the Barrhaven (subdivision of Ottawa) Wendy's. She met up with friends and called her mom at 1:30 am to let her know that she was on her way.

She never came home.

Today, Sept 18th at 5pm police confirmed that they found the body of Jennifer Teague in a swampy region 5 kms from where she was taken.

Words cannot even begin to describe how the family of that girl must feel. To lose someone, especially a child in such a horrible manner is incomprehensible. My heartfelt sympathies go out to the Teague family and to all her friends. I know they hoped that Jennifer would come home alive and well but their worst fears were confirmed early this evening. I couldn't IMAGINE losing a member of my own family in such a way, I really couldn't.

I wish them all the best and pray that the scumbag who did this to her will be brought to justice.

As for the cowardly fuck who kidnapped a tiny 110 lbs girl in the middle of the night after work you can rot in hell for what you did. You sick fuck, I hope that the police catch you and throw you in jail with an inamte who heard about what you did. I hope that inmate tears you apart with his bare fucking hands so that you may feel even an OUNCE of the pain that you not only delivered to Jennifer but also to her family and friends.

Thanks Canada for aboloshing the death penalty so that this peice of shit gets 3 square meals a day and cable T.V. while Jennifer lies in her premature grave.

Thanks to the police who didn't act until 40 hrs after the call was placed that Jennifer was missing. If you knew anything at all you would know that the first 48 hrs into a persons disappearance are the most crucial. What would have happened if you didn't waste those 40 hrs insisting that Jennifer was just another runaway?? I'm sure they Teague family would like to know.

Thanks to the scumbag who ended Jennifer's precious life so early. I hope you're satisfied with your cowardly self stalking her in the night and taking her away. It takes a real man to attack an innocent girl in the night. Man, you must feel so proud of yourself you worthless fuck.

Once again, my sympathies to the Teague family and friends, I hope that whoever did this to your friend and daughter gets what he deserves.

ARTICLE HERE
http://www.canada.com/ottawa/ottawacitizen/news/story.html?id=13bed29d-cd5f-4835-a90f-4a2f524a5664

Carleton's $$$ "hard" at work

I'm assuming that most of you who read my blog either go to or went to post secondary school of some sorts. And I'm sure you all paid in the thousands to be there. Right now my tuition is at $5,000/year (and its about to go up) which really isn't bad considering:

a) Its 5 times that in the States

b) I'm on a scholarship so the Government pays my tuituon for me (neener neener)

HOWEVER, the money that is going towards my tuition is doing sweet dick all for Carleton. Really. I don't know if they hold monkey knife fights with that money after hours but it sure as fuck isn't going towards furthering my education

For example: I had a required class I needed to take in order to graduate with my degree in Criminology. There are approximately 2,000 students in the Crim. program as it stands. Want to guess how many classes they held for each semester?

Come on, give it a shot.

If you guessed 1 CLASS FOR THE ENTIRE SCHOOL YEAR then you win a prize.

Yes'm, SOCI 3104 is a REQUIRED course for Crim students to take and Carleton offered a SINGLE class for the entire fucking school year in the fall. Just one. Didn't even offer another class in the winter.

So naturally those of us who lost out in the Student number lottery got fucked royally since I couldn't register until 5 days after the registration opened. And naturally that ONE CLASS was already filled and they couldn't squeeze me in.

I seriously hope those monkeys stab out the eyes of the Carleton administrators who thought offering just one class was a good idea.

To make matters worse I need to take a Forensic Psychology seminar with a well known professor in order to pursue a Masters degree in in the program I wish to take upon graduation.

Well, wouldn't you know it Carleton only offered 3 of those classes and gave them all away to Psychology students instead of reserving them for the Crim students LIKE THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO. This girl I work with is majoring in Developmental psychology and they allowed her into the course but turned my ass down because there wasn't enough room in the classes

Here's a fancy idea:

Kick out the fuckers who are just taking the class for kicks even though it has NOTHING to do with their program to make room for those students who actually NEED it in order to GRADUATE.

Actually, fuck the monkeys - lets give students knives and let them fight for a space in certain courses. That way we can weed out the weak ones and reserve seats for those who are not only strong in mind but give a mean stabbing. I bet if we got sponsored we could even hold events. That way Carleton, you can make even more money to blow on ridiculous shit that will do nothing for the students but allow you to sit in heated leather seats with a Chinese massuese from "Happy Endings" massage parlour.

Speaking of Chinese:

Let me just say, I have nothing against them. In fact, I love their food the most out of anything else out there. And you guys make a wicked bubble tea.

But in my Data Analysis for Statistical Procedures course, one class that I will fail this year due to my lack of mathematical skills my prof never teaches the class and instead hands over the floor to his Chinese Teachers Assistant to whom English is a 5th language.

On Thursday afternoon I went to class only to have the T.A. who doesn't speak english very well give the entire 3 hour lecture with everyone in the class going, "What the hell did he just say?" Once again, nothing against the guy - he seems quite nice - but he doesn't understand grammar and he has a difficult time pronouncing words. That doesn't make for a very good stats class especially when "skills" sounds like "scales". That just throws a big ass wrench into the works.

See, when the Gov't paid for my school I was under the impression that my PROF would actually teach the class and I'd be using Zhiag (The T.A.) as a secondary resource. Even when I asked him to repeat concepts that I've never even heard of he didn't understand my question and I didn't understand his answer.

Seriously, I don't how ANYONE puts up with Carleton, let alone PAYS to put up with them. I think the monkeys are the only ones who are getting the sweet end of the deals.

You can buy your hair if it won't grow, you can fix your nose if you say so

Who here was teased as a kid?

Maybe high school was rough because you had big hair or nerdy glasses.
Or maybe the way you dressed was the butt of all the jokes
Or maybe people just had nothing better to do than pick on you because you seemed like an easy target.

What I am leading into here is a recap of my life growing up as a horribly ugly kid. I'm not talking like aw, she'll grow into herself, I mean full on, "Oh my god, yah you're fucking ugly"

I had stringy hair that was always greasy
I was flat as a board and was as thin as a rail
I had big buck teeth and a severe acne problem
I had no idea how to wear my hair or put on makeup so I usually went to school in something my grandmother picked out and put my hair in a greasy ponytail.

Hell, even my own MOTHER said I was a homely child.

Don't believe me?

See for yourself....

THIS IS ME AT ABOUT 11 YEARS OLD


THIS IS ME AT 17 YEARS OLD



You've all seen pictures of me now and I am more than certain you can spot the differences in my appearance.

Elementary school was hell for me.
High school was fucking hell for me. 100x worse than elementary.

See 'cause in high school kids learn how to be more cruel and more fucking assholes joined them "Pick on Ashley" bandwagon. And it wasn't your simple, "Ha ha you are wearing funny clothes" teasing, it was so bad that I would come home crying everyday and praying to God that they'd ignore me the next day.

School for me was an absolute nightmare and kids were so goddamn cruel. There wasn't a day that went by without someone commenting on my hair, my big buck teeth or the fact that my clothes didn't fit me right.

My teeth were the BIGGEST issue. They stuck out so far every beaver and bucky name you can come up with it was given to me. Kids loved making fun of my big buck teeth and I fucking hated my parents for not getting me braces.

I also hated my fucking mom for leaving and not telling me what every daughter needs to know and thats how to put on makeup and do my hair.See, my parents divorced when I was 8 and my mom moved to the states shortly after. I lived with my dad and my brother and let me tell you, when I got my period all fucking Hell broke loose in the household. I remember my dad freaking out and telling me to call my mom for her to explain to me what happens to girls every month. I think I was so embarassed I actually ran away from home and lived with my grandmother for a week until it was gone.

Where is all this going? You ask.....

Mostly this is a big ass response to all those emails and comments I have gotten about me being a supposely naracisstic bitch. It's hard to be that into yourself when you lived nearly 18 years of your life praying to God that a bus would hit you so they'd HAVE to perform plastic surgery on you.

Granted, I look entirely different now. People from high school barely recognize me and those who do can't believe how much I've changed over the years. Guys who made my life miserable have asked me out and I've got to tell you, its a great feeling to tell them that they go fuck themselves and that the closest they'll ever get to me is in a wet dream.

Am I looking for your pity? Hell no. I'm quite over those years and if anything they've made me a stronger person. I'm 100% content with how I look and I shouldn't have to justify myself for when I take pictures and post them on my blog. It's actually SAD that some of you assholes out there call me a fucking attention seeking self centered conceited bitch.

While I admit I do enjoy attention its mainly a result of living a hell of negative attention for so many years. I love the fact now that guys turn their head to look instead of to yell out, "Hey bucky beaver build any dams today???"

So call me a naracisstic bitch all you want. I have come a long way and I'll damn well reserve the rights to flaunt what I prayed forever for. You think I'm stuck up because I take pictures of myself and post them on the intenet? Hell, about 50 million other people do the EXACT same thing. I'm 100% satisfied with what I look like and you better fucking believe that I'd be the first person to tell you.


Believe me, being called "conceited" is a hell of a lot better than being called, "Buck tooth beaver".

Stupid Thing Ashley Has Done #456

On my way into work tonight my boss was standing in the doorway and informed that the police are looking for me. I was like, "What the hell for?" and he said, "They know about that tomato you stole, you were on speakers corner"

BACKTRACK TO 2 WEEKS AGO

A friend and I went to a comedy club on Preston street to have a few drinks and laughs. As the night went on we got hammered and went downtown where we proceeded to walk around completely shit faced searching for nachos.

If anyone knows about Ottawa there is a place called, "The Market" which is appropriately named since its one giant market. We were passing one street vendors display at 2 am that night and I decided to steal one of their tomatos. I stuckmy hand through the fencing and after about 10 mins of struggling and attempting to throw the tomato over the top of the fence I managed to get it.

Pretty pleased with myself I decided that I would go onto Speakers Corner and tell the world of my accomplishment. Speakers Corner for those of you who are in the dark is where people can pay a dollar for 3 minutes of air time. They take the best video tapes of people saying and doing whatever and compile them into a TV show thats shown across Canada.

Apparently I went on and on about how I cleverly stole said tomato and make a complete fucking moron of myself. I guess half of my speech was bleeped out as we all know I have quite the little potty mouth.

My future children will be so proud of me....

Better to keep silent and made believe a fool than to open your mouth and prove it

Or something like that

Anyways, thats one of my favorite quotes. I think it pretty much suits everybody in this world. I know there have been many a time where I should have just kept my mouth shut and let people think what they wanted about me instead I opened it and just proved they were right.

Today I woke up at 1 in the afternoon, it was great. I felt completely refreshed after a ridiculously long shift at work. I was called in to work the morning at 11, I was off by 2 and had to be back to work by 4. I ran into an old friend of mine and a 4 martini lunch later I went back to work slightly shit faced but feeling good.

I was able to get off work early last night as I was about to have a mental fucking break down due to the fact I had to cut off about 30 people all at once in my section who revolted and proceeded to break shit which I had to clean up and get in trouble for. Apparently I am the Puppet Master and therefore control the actions of all the fucking losers out there who engage in imature behaviour.

Fuck, if I was the puppet master you'd better believe I'd have Tommy Lee making babies with me. I wouldn't waste my time commanding morons to throw shit.

My boss told me after a brief mental break down and good cry in the back room that I could go home. I think I'm really done with the service industry. $.6.50 an hour just isn't enough for some of the bullshit once has to endure when serving circus freaks in a closed environment. I'm not ignorant to the fact that there are several million people out there who have it worse than me as far as work is concerned, selfishly I must say I'm sorry for them but this is my life and if I hate my fucking job it doesn't really matter how many people work the coal mines - it doesn't change that fact that my job still sucks.

I know, that was cold and evil.

I'm just tired of
- the long hours
- never having my weekends and nights off
- working until 3 sometimes 4 in the morning
- having to deal with assholes and french women who are PMSing and giving me attitude
- contasntly having to fight off drunks and stupid kids that argue with me when I tell them that I can't accept a health card as ID

Which brings me to another point:

WHY THE HELL DO YOU PEOPLE HAVE TO ARGUE WITH ME WHEN I TELL YOU I CANNOT LEGALLY ACCEPT YOUR HEALTH CARD AS ID????????????

WHY????

Do you think I'm saying that to be cruel??
Do you think I'm saying that to be a fucking bitch??

NO!

]I'm saying that so my ass doesn't get fired for you, someone I don't even know or give a shit about!

Arguing and pleading with me to take your card isn't going to do anything but piss me off further so shut the hell up and go to On Tap where they'll let your under age ass in.

So I need a vacation. I'm going to Florida on the 10th of October and I won't be back until the 20th. Hopefully that cooling off period will save lives.

I think I need to go back to bed before work.

I'm spent.

Someone suggest something for me to write and or rant about. I don't know what the hell to talk about since all I've done is watched CSI and worked this past week.

Hurricane Katrina is a RACIST!

Or so thats what Rev.Jessie Jackson is saying.

The entire weekend that I was gone my family was tuned into the only TV station that we picked up which coincidentally(I have no idea how to spell apparently) was CNN. They had 24 hr coverage of the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina and let me just say this, "Holy shit. I am so glad Im not in their shoes right now."

I can't believe the devestation that the Hurricane has caused in the states. I think they said that 90% of New Orleans is completely submerged therefore destroyed. CNN has been showing images of bodies floating in the mess. People that didn't die on impact during the hurricane are now dying from starvation, dehydration or from the shit thats floating in the water. Human waste and decomposing bodies make a wonderful breeding ground for e.coli and other deadly bacteria.

I genuinely do express my deepest sympathies for the victims and families of Hurricane Katrina. I just hope that you can pick up and move on for the better.

Oh, and the American Federal Government can kiss my ass.
So can you Revered you fucking racist slinging retard.

I cant pretend to know everything that the Federal Government did before and after Hurricane Katrina but from what I HEAR they completely fucking botched any evacuation plans for those caught in New Orleans. FEMA did a wonderful job of doing dick-all but waiting for the hurricane to hit while scrambling around screaming, "What the fuck do we do now?". Glad to see the tax payers money hard at work. Monkeys could replace all of you fucking inbreds.

Of course, we can't forget Dr.Phil and what the fuck is that old actors name who used to play some sort of something on a show back in the fucking 80's??? Oh yah, Bill Cosby. We defintely can't forget them running in and trying to swipe their 15 minutes of fame in the areas LEAST effected by the hurricane.

And good ol' president Bushy - right in there AFTER the storm hits AFTER everyone else figured out a plan to save these people and AFTER the threat was over. Man, he's just so dedicated to his people coming out the rescue shelter and shaking hands with all the "refugees" from their own fucking country. I'm sure as he's shaking their hands (on camera no less) the person on the recieving end is smiling pretty and thinking, "You fucking old bastard - thanks for the fucking handshake while my house is destroyed, my kids are starving and half my relatives are missing. Thank the LORD for your fucking handshake, it's gonna solve all my problems you asshole."

At least I know I would.

My favorite person of all in this is most certainly Rev. Jesse Jackson.

Good ol' fucking Jackson.

If any African American in the world dies you know his ass is going to be there stirring the pot and calling it a racist act.

Jackson: It was a racist attack Im telling you! RACIST! That black man died for no reason other than hatred and RACISIM!

Interviewer: Jesse, a tree fell down on him while he was mowing his lawn

Jackson: That tree was a RACIST!! It was a RACIST tree!

Seriously, Jacksons a fucking quack.

While I do agree that the federal government didn't do a hell of a lot in helping to evacute New Orleans before the hurricane hit it had NOTHING do with the majority of the population being black. It is unfortuate that these people got the worst of the storm and suffered the most but what the fuck...??? It was the HURRICANE that hit them - not the federal fucking Government. I highly doubt that a natural disaster is capable of being racist.

Those who didn't evacuate unfortunately were either
1. Poor and couldn't afford to
2. Stubborn and refused to leave

Yes, the majority of the poor are African American BUT a fair percentage of the poor in New Orleans are also white. If this was completely racist as the Reverend has been ranting about then wouldn't those white folk be spared? The media has NOT been twisting everything and making a racial image for the Hurricane as Jackson has been claiming.

And yes, the majority of the people being depicted on the TV are black people. OBVIOUSLY! THEY WERE THE ONES THAT SUSTAINED THE MOST FUCKING DAMAGE AND LOSS DURING THE HURRICANE!!

What would the Reverend prefer?

The media to show images of perfectly fine white folks coming back to their barely damaged homes holding hands and singing Kumbay-a???

Or the medi showing images of those suffering the most and the damage caused by the hurricane in the hopes of receiving help and donations?

It doesn't take a fucking genius to figure this one out.

Seriously, all you celebrities obviously seeking out your 15 mins of fame (especially you Celine Dion you annoying little wench and your over acting) need to shut up, get the cameras focused on the people effected by the Hurricane and let them say what they are going through, how THEY are suffering, WHY they need all the help they can get. You fucking morons in your lexus driving back to your mansions and private jets at the end of the day are doing no good for these people but taking up precious media coverage.

And you Jackson, shut the hell up - not everyone in this world is a goddamn racist so find another fucking scapegoat to burn at the cross.

By the way, the cottage was wonderful. I had a great time.

So yah....

I'm going to be gone for 6 days to my cottage with my family.

I intend on being completely shit faced for the duration of my stay.

I also intend on jumping off my balcony if these meds don't kick in soon.

See you all on Tuesday when I return, don't miss me too much.

xo