20050131

Curiosity killed the cat - but for a while I was a suspect

I watched a film today on pedophiles in my Deviance class which I was appalled and disgusted with. My poor eyes and ears were witness to some horrible things that no human being should ever have to experience. When the movie was finished, it left me frusterated and pissed off. I expressed my opinions to the class who in turn refuted my points and called me some rather nasty names.

Oh, did I mention I was rooting for the pedophile?

I know right now, the majority of you folks reading this blog have dropped your jaws to the ground and said, "is she for fucking real" - well let me tell you, I defintely am. Let me just say first off that I totally don't support pedophilia or sex crimes of any nature, these are sick people whith incurable diseases of the mind. You can take the pedophile out of the playground - but you can't take the perversion out of the pedophile. Im a firm believer that pedophiles and anyone who suffers from hypersexuality etc. can not be cured. Its like AIDS - once you have it, you have it for life. You can take medications to ease the symptoms but it'll never go away. So before you think I have a "I LOVE PEDOPHILES - MICHAEL JACKSON IS MY HERO" bumper sticker, I'd just like you to know that I in no shape or form support pedophilia. Voyeurism on the other hand is an entirely different story...

Anyways, the reason why I was so pissed off with the movie is the way that the individuals of the community were treating the pedophile once he moved from Mountains Correctional Facility in B.C. to Keeles Halfway House in Toronto. Once the community found out that a convicted pedophile was supposedly in their "backyards" there was a huge outcry. Understandably, there were concerns about his supervised visits and inevitable release back into society - but the way they were handling their issues was a fucking spectacle that Barnum and Bailey could only dream of replicating. The man, Bobby Oatway was convincted of sodomizing his young son and his wife's younger sisters. Naturally anyone would find these acts to be disgusting and highly reprimandable. Oatway spent 10 years in the B.C. correctional facility where he had to lay low for fear of physical harm by other inmates. As we all know, child molestation doesn't sit well with the general prison population so typically Pedophiles are kept in seclusion and separated from the other inmates. Because of the protests arranged by his previous victims before his release into a B.C. halfway house he was transported secretly to the Halfway House in Toronto.

Now, things would have been peachy keen and he would have been re intergrated back into society where he would attempt a normal life and report to his parole officer as any other criminal released back into society would. If it weren't for word leaking out that Oatway was responsible for the molestation of the sisters and his son. As soon as the community in Toronto found out there was a public outcry. The movie depicted scenes from the Town Hall where mothers were protesting his release and basically freaking out at the individuals working at Keele's Halfway House. They created signs and gathered a large group of protestors for the self made witch hunt and bombarded the halfway house day in day out.

Before moving to the facility - none of the other inamtes knew of his past - nor did they care. Upon finding out they threatened him with death and would have killed him should he be out unsupervised or not locked away in his room. If the community had never found out about him in the first place chances are they wouldn't have thought twice about him being on the street. Now I know you are thinking, "BUT HE'S JUST GOING TO DIDDLE AGAIN IF YOU LET HIM OUT!" - thats not necessarily so. While although pedophilia is a disease of the mind and basically incurable - so is schizophrenia. The point being that while both can't be medically cured, the symptoms can be relieved. The entire time Keele has been in operation 0 out of 45 convicted pedophiles in their system went on to re offend.

Naturally politics found its way into the already brewing pot and the mayor or whatever at the time decided to step up and throw out his 2 cents. Which was worth exactly that, 2 cents. Conveniently enough, this all occured near election time

DING DING FUCKING DING

Election time? Does this sound fishy to anyone else? It seems like us Canadian's are not much different than our American counterparts when it comes to such things. Gov. Jeb Bush down in Florida loves signing death warrants weeks before election time. Too bad the general public is too fucking stupid to realize whats happening around them so they carry signs and suck political dick.

I tried explaining this to the class that the only reason why they were tormenting the man was because the big guy on campus told them to and like baa baa black sheep they complied. People fail to realize that to err is human and we all make mistakes. We all do things that we regret and wish to take back but sometimes we can't. Oatway isn't some sub human monster who is exempt from being allowed to make mistakes. YES - he did commit atrocious acts, but lets be honest here - how is Bush sending out soldiers to slaughter innocents under the veil of pulic safety any different? 'Course no one would think of raising a goddamn eyebrow to such a thing.

Regardless, in this case I rooted for the underdog and faced the penalty for doing so. My classroom now things I'm some pedophile fan girl with kiddy porn plastered around my bedroom (which I can assure you, I do not. I have a tasteful display of various black and white photographs of stairs and stuffed animals in my room - not little boys in bathing suits) There are just some forms of ignorance I can't handle - and not fitting in the shoes of another is just one of many examples.



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Mr. Bubbles...Tons of Irritating Deadly Fun!


For those of you who have trouble reading it the bottle says: MR. BUBBLES BUBBLE BATH HAS A CLINICALLY TESTED MILD FORMULA WITH SOOTHING ALOE. IT SAFELY CLEANS CHILDREN'S SENSITIVE SKIN WITH LOTS OF LONG LASTING BUBBLE FUN....warning... use only as directed. excessive use or prolonged exposure may cause irritation to skin and urinary tract. discontinue use if rash, redness or itching occurs. Posted by Hello
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20050130

ADGDIYAIYIGDSDASFU

I feel like I'm being continously hit with Nerf balls and that the world's just a little off center today. I havent been able to leave my bed until now so I've put Pat Benatar's "We Belong" on "repeat" and I will eventually attempt to run myself a bath to wake me up.

All of this is not a result of the strep throat.

This is all a result of me going out last night and getting fucked.

One of the girls at work asked if I wanted to go out, I SHOULD have said "no" since I'm trying to save up for a few things and I have 2 unexpected exams this week. But like the easily influenced dumbass that I am all she had to say was, "it's school girl night" and the pleated skirt was on before you could say "Naughty!"

We had a great time since we hit the gay bar on Sparks streete called "The Edge". I much prefer hitting the gay bars because the only guys who paw me are gay and they ask me where I bought my tits. The lesbians don't even bother me since they are usually there with their girlfriends anyways so I can get my drink and dance on without the hassle of the typical Meat Market bar. Plus it makes a girl feel good to hear, "Honey I'm so gay but baby you're hot!" Ladies, if you ever need a boost of self esteem hit the gay clubs and let loose! The BEST part of last night was when the DJ played "Hello Time Bomb" by Matthew Good Band (as it holds some special meaning) my friend and I were dancing on the stage bumping and grinding and driving even the gay men crazy. It was a wild night.

Mind you, by the 6th shot of goldschlager I should have probably known when to stop since now I feeling like the living dead and know that I have 2 exams I need to study for this week.

I think I'm going to settle with a movie, some crackers and water before I attempt this studying and being awake thing.

WORLD'S WORST PROCRASTINATOR - RIGHT HERE.
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20050128

The ODD Rituals of Ashley

Once again a list...

I think I may possibly be suffering from O.C.D. (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder - a self diagnosis) as I have noticed that I do a lot of odd things subconciously. The majority of the time I don't even realize that I do them.

Odd?

1 - Everytime I come into my house I lock the door. It doesn't matter if everyone is home or not, my right hand reaches over and locks it.

2 - Before I go to bed I cover any mirrors in my room or turn them around. I can't sleep with a mirror facing me.

3 - My closet door also has to be closed before I go to sleep. Even if I am walking around the house and a cupboard or closet door is open I have to close it or it bothers me

4 - If someone has used the microwave and took out the item before the time was up I ALWAYS have to clear the screen. Even if I don't need to know what time it is, I always hit the "clear" button

5 - Before I go to bed, (this is right after I close my closet door and cover my mirror) I put "Rocky Horror Picture Show" on my computer and turn the volume all the way down. I can't fall asleep in my room unless it's playing. If I wake up in the middle of the night and it's stopped I have to hit PLAY before I can fall back asleep.


The hell is wrong with me...
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Anyone else want to rain on my fucking parade?

I've noticed that my blog is becoming more and more negative than positive.


Deal with it.


As I am currently suffering a bought of strep throat I feel entitled to complain. The only good thing to come out of this is that I can eat all the ice cream I want and get a feel good high legally. Once the storm has passed and I come out of this bitch of a mood I'm sure things will brighten up around here.

I attempted the sleep thing about 20 mins ago with no luck. For some reason I have been experiencing rathing unusual sleep patterns which could be a result of the strep. I don't think its from being sick however, I think its just the stress I have been dealing with the past little while.

STRESS: WORK RELATED
Work has been really slow lately, people are practically begging for shifts so the girls are getting competative. This in effect is making everyone tense and bitchy. I ended up getting a Friday night closing shift this weekend and a few of the girls who have been there longer than me nearly freaked out. These were the same girls that I was out with the last weekend painting the town red. Its amazing what the after-christmas season does to people. We all turn psychotic and are willing to beat the shit out of the others if we don't get what we want.

Personally, I think we should set up a KY Jelly wrestling pit in the back room of the restaurant and fight it out for shifts. Not only would that be a way of gaurenteeing everyone had a fair chance but we could charge admission and make some money from it. I'll pass the idea by my manager tomorrow. He's an old pervert, I'm sure he'll embrace the idea.

STRESS: SCHOOL RELATED
This is never a good thing to hear: "Ok folks, I hope your ready for next week's midterm. Everything we have discussed in the class up until this lecture will be covered on the exam and remember, it's worth 30% of your final grade."

...

Exam?

...

Apparently I have a midterm in my Research Methods for Behavioural Science's class on Tuesday of next week (Not to mention the Statistics Research exam that I have Friday which I have yet to watch a lecture for) I'm screwed because:
a) My prof is from the UK so he speaks really fast and I can't understand a goddamn thing he says
b) I'm like the poster child for ADD. The concepts in the class are so fucking boring I zone out and think about what I'm going to wear for work instead.

STRESS: MAN RELATED
Simply put: I haven't seen my boyfriend since October. Therefore, I haven't gotten laid since then. There's only so far batteries and computer porn can go. 'Nough said.

STRESS: FAMILY RELATED
John (My brother): Has been hanging out with the wrong crowd lately. He's only 15 and on many occasions has come home drunk. On top of that he stole my grandmothers car and crashed it. The kid is so smart but is willing to settle with a D average and has no aspirations in life other than to work at Pizza Hut and join the army. My family has been on my case to get him to do something and change his ways but what the fuck good is that. They want my apparent "smarts" to rub off on him and have been pressuring me to talk to him but he's his own person. He has to learn from his own experiences and as such, I need to stay out and let him make his own decisions. The kid is 15 - he can think for himself I shouldn't need to lecture like everyone else.

Dad: I haven't spoke to Dad since before Christmas when we had a falling out. He was mad at me for not coming home earlier before I left for Florida to see Mom even though he knew I had to write an exam the night before I left. I tried my best to get to see him for longer than a few hours but he told me I broke his heart that night. He has yet to return my phone calls or emails.

Mom: Same old. Pressuring me to do well in school and to not engage in sexual activity without her prior permission. I'm getting tired of being the family's prodigy child. I've told mom this and she just won't listen which is starting to get frusterating. I can do no wrong which also means that I can't get less than an A average in University. Sadly I've already got two things going against me:

1) Im blond
2) Im not asian

I think mom is going to be awfully disappointed this year with my meagre B+ average...

Nanny: Never, under any circumstances, think you can win an argument with a 65 year old Scottish woman. She's a haggis eating, vodka drinking, chain smoking hardass. She loves arguing with me about my lifestyle choices and how I can't say anything positive about the school I go to but then sends me a care package of groceries and clothing detergent. How the hell do you argue back?

Mike (cousin): We were always close and now he is back in the mental hospital as he suffers from paranoid schizophrenia. The years of drug abuse has triggered an imbalance of dopamine levels in his mind causing him to become paranoid thinking that everyone is out to get him unless he is steadily medicated. Its sad. He's a shadow of his former self and only 18 years of age.

STRESS: EVERYTHING ELSE RELATED
I lost my goddamn cell phone tonight.
I live on my cell phone
I don't know what to do without it

I'm holding faith in man kind that someone will come along and return it to me. I have been calling it all night but the last time I had it, I put it on silent. I'm praying that they return it because its as important to me as oxygen.

All right, the meds are kicking in and I'm feeling loopy. Lets attempt this sleep thing again...

Bonne Nuit.

Edit: I apologize in advance for the poor grammar in this post. I'm awfully tired and rather fucked up on some serious meds right now. Sorry once again.


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20050127

Fear the Wrath...


This is my mom's new puppy. I forget her name but this picture looks like the Humane Shelter's version of "Star Wars" Posted by Hello LUKE, USE THE KIBBLES...
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Something I've noticed

I really like to make lists.

Almost 90% of my blogs contain a list of some sort in them. I wonder if this is some deep rooted psychological compulsion that I have to place everything in order. Momma always said something was wrong with me.

The meds are kicking in, I'm going to bed
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20050126

GOING TO WORK

Apparently being highly contagious with strep throat isn't a good enough reason to call in sick.

If being on one's death bed isn't good enough what the fuck is?


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20050125

Don't cry for me I'm already dead


I want my tombstone to read: SHE DIED AS SHE LIVED - FULL OF ALCOHOL Posted by Hello
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My own worst enemy

As you all know, Im nearly on my death bed.

And as you all know I tend to exaggerate slightly.

I'm not quite on my death bed, but more and more I feel like throwing a pillow over my head to ease the pain. I have a swollen throat so I can barely speak (which makes some people quite happy) and I can't eat anything solid which BLOWS because a friend of mine gave me a shit load of Mini Eggs to make me feel better... I love chocolate and I can't eat it until the swelling goes down.

&%**%$##^^^()&*)(^&*^!!!!!!

Anyways, I only had an hour + 1/2 long class today (which I left since I was disrupting the lecture with my exagerrated intake of oxygen) so I decided that I would get some shopping done since I havent seen the inside of a grocery store in months. It was today's events that made me realize something rather frightening: Im slowly turning into my grandmother

Now I love the old bat dearly, don't get me wrong here - but all the things she did when I was a teenager growing up in her household that I found to be irritating as hell I am now doing.

Example?

1 - I used at least 4 coupons that I cut out of the flyers that came in the mail.

2 - I actually counted out change. PENNIES EVEN! I was hunched over my little change purse like scrooge in a goddamn supermarket

3- I got pissed off when the tuna that I thought was on sale for 25 cents less was actually the tuna beside the one that I brought up. I made them change the price at the register since it was in the same row as the on sale tuna.

4 - I checked my receipt after I left the grocery store to make sure they didn't overcharge me for anything.

And if that wasn't bad enough I actually went shopping for household items! I bought towels. Dear god, I bought towels. Old age isn't just creeping up on me...its on a full assault mission

Excuse me while I go cry over my lost youth.


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20050124

THE LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT OF ASHLEY

I have had the worst cold for the past 3 days and I feel as though I'm dying. The fact that I went on a mini weekend bender probably didn't help. I've been living on Tylenol Cold to ease the pain which has left me in a euphorically high state of mind.

Pros of being consistently high on cold pills:
- Makes for more interesting lectures
- Everything is hilarious
- The world seems to slow down and waits for you to catch up
- I can amuse myself for hours spinning quarters
- Everything suddenly makes sense

Cons of being consistently high on cold pills:
- Everything that made sense wasn't really correct, I was just high
- Your roomates catch you having conversations with the leprechaun only you can see
- My lecture notes mainly consist of dirty words and non sensical ramblings
- I actually got freaked out by my own reflection
- Functioning a toaster or any other household appliance is a goddamn chore

Since I'm pretty sure that I am going to die from this cold as I am not allowing myself any medication and am too stubborn to go to the doctors, I've decided to compose a list of things that I wish to be done post funeral.

POST FUNERAL ARRANGEMENTS

1. Someone be sure to take the gerbils in. They're orphaned and they need a good home

2. Please donate my organs to those who need them but leave my breasts alone. I want people to say at my funeral, "You know, for a dead chick she still has a great rack"

3. Play "Don't Fear The Reaper" at my wake and serve lots of Jack Daniel's.

4. JOHN: Delete all the porn off my computer, I don't want mom to see what I've got on here.

5. NANNY: If you have any messages for grandpa be sure to let me know

6. Take me to one last Karaoke bar. I dont know or care how you do it, just don't let me get too hammered I'll have enough alcohol in my system anyways.

7. Finally someone tell mom that I'm not actually a virgin and I haven't been one since I was 16. I don't want her living in denial for the rest of her life.

Thanks in advance.


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DAY 1

Of Ashley never drinking again....can someone turn down the world, its just a little too loud for me today...
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20050123

In Regards to the Comment Posted on the Previous Blog

I'm unaware as to how many people actually read the comment posted, but I am sure it wasn't a large number considering my blog isn't exactly the most clicked on website. So "anonymous" if you were looking to be a shit disturber let me leave you with a little advice, "Go big or go home". Your comment left little impact on me and anyone else who read it. You failed in your apparent mission to "ruin me". Im posting this here since I am sure there are a few people who have indeed read the blog and such I feel the need to respond back.

There are reasons why such a relationship wasn't revealed to the internet community and they can be summed up into one word: Privacy. Do you think you're actually hurting ME when you say things like that? Hardly. I am not ashamed or worried about what other people think of me based on who I am dating. Thats completely shallow and superficial. Quite frankly, I don't give a shit if people "find out" or not as it has dick all to do with them in the first place. However this isn't a one person relationship. While people on the internet may not have a goddamn clue as to who I am they most certainly know who he is and as such, he's entitled to his own personal privacy. If he wanted people to know about it he was more than welcome to reveal it himself to the internet public. Alas, since he has not that would indicate to me that he also agrees with keeping such things private from the internet community.

Don't think for one minute that he hasn't revealed anything because he is "ashamed" of the relationship because I can assure you, he is not. The internet and the real world are two entirely different spheres. When we go out I don't go wearing a mask or ducking around corners in case people see us. When you are on the internet you never know who you are giving information to and sometimes that can cause problems. Especially in the case of the metro or any other fan site. There were reasons why nothing was posted, mainly because of the flood of responses it would probably bring and neither him nor I wished to deal with the headache. I gaurentee that someone would have said, "She's only with him for his status" which is defintely not the case. His status pales in comparison to his personality and anything else not affiliated with the band. If it was a matter of status do you not think I'd have posted the next day after handing him my number? Even at the show played at my school I asked to not be beside the stage so I wouldn't have to deal with classmates of mine asking me a million questions. If I was ever so concerned about the "status" of our relationship I wouldn't have blended in with the rest of the crowd.

As far as the "groupy" comment goes, its not really your place to say that now is it? Are you following him around with a little book and writing down all his little discrepancies? I doubt it. In the future try not to look like the village idiot grasping at straws in the hopes of looking "cool" to an internet community who doesn't give a fuck about you or what you have to say.

In closing, instead of being a coward and hiding behind an anonymous user, the next time you wish to make such comments why don't you post who you actually are so I can address you more formally.

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20050122

ATTN: A QUESTION FOR THE MEN

My boyfriend and I were discussing lesbians and such as most of our conversations go when the question was posed : Is it cheating if your girlfriend makes out / has sex with another female?

It's an interesting question because everyone would answer it differently depending on their definition of what "cheating" actually is. Its such a universal word but with entirely different meanings. To some cheating means any form of physical contact whether that be kissing or groping etc. to others it means actual intercourse itself. Personally, my definition of "cheating" is any form of physical contact exchanged between the parties involved. That said, making out with a girl in my opinion would be a form of cheating.

HOWEVER, he didn't seem to agree. While he said that if I was to ever do so (not likely) he would PREFER if I did it in his company. (I think he's just trying to score on the deal) I guess he'd feel better about me doing it in front of him than behind his back, which is also very interesting. That said I told him that I wouldn't accept him having gay sex in front of me or behind my back...

I guess to some "lesbian sex" isn't actual intercourse therefore it doesn't qualifiy as cheating. Unless of course there was a vibrator involved...

Opinions?
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20050120

Desperate Housewhores

Someone please explain this to me.

In a society where tree hugging hippy hairy feminists go running around screaming that everything objectifies women and we agree - a show like this comes out. The hypocrisy is almost blinding.

I watched about 20 mins of the show and was ready to sue the network for loses. I could have read something or knit a small sweater for my gerbil ANYTHING more productive with my time.

This is the jist of the show for those of you fortunate enough to never come across it.

There are these neighbour chicks, one of the is Lois from the Adventures of Superman (shes all right) the other chick is Eva Longwhatever who typically walks around in a bra and panties for the majority of the show (hence the 46% male viewer rate), the blond "girl" who looks like a transgender Swede and finally the red head who is the poster child for when Botox goes wrong.


Anyways, the basic objective of these Suburbian housewives is to go out and get laid. They call over the neighbourhood "handyman" to "fix their pipes" while they run around with rose petals in little black nighties. While one is off seducing the plumber the other is nailing the 17 year old gardener behind her husbands back. Scandalous. The show claims that these women are just trying to live a simple life in their harsh suburban surrondings. You know, its hard having perfect hair, bodies and make up and driving around in SUV's while seducing the neighbourhood single fathers. God, the humanity. But really its all an excuse to show soft core porn on prime time television.

Sadly shows like these are taking off and following the Sex and the City route. Apparently shows like single moms struggling with 2 jobs and not getting any at all because she's too busy feeding her 3 kids don't get ratings. Reality is harsh, people don't want to deal with it. They'd rather live vicariously through the lives of the people on these shows and make believe that one day, they too can be common housewhores.

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20050118

People Watching: The New Olympic Sport

Today on the bus I found myself watching others get on and off. Not in a creepy stalker fashion, but more of a curious what-the-fuck-else am I going to do fashion. For you fellow blog readers I have created a list of observations that I mentally composed in my 45 min bus ride.

Read Responsibly.

THE STINKY MAN
This guy came on the bus today reeking of his buddies Jack Daniels and Johnny Walker - at 9 am this morning. I mean it wasn't just a light smell that came into the air, it was a "Jesus christ, where is the liqour store that you robbed and why wasn't I invited" smell. Naturally he had to sit right across from me so all I could smell was his putrid stench until he got off the bus. And what to my wondering eyes was his destination spot? The Mission. Go figure.
Conclusion?
The homeless have no need for our "no drinking before noon" rules.

THE WHINING KID
A mom and her young son came on the bus today. From the moment he walked onto the bus all he did was scream bloody fucking murder while his mother continued to berate him for his behaviour. She offered him oreos, he threw them back at her. She offered him milk, he screamed louder until they finally got off the bus. It was 5 minutes of my life and eardrums I'll never get back again.
Conclusion?
Obviously she needs to call up Dr.Phil and get that child some discipline. And hopefully a "I was cured by Dr.Phil and all I got was a mental image of a fat yelling bald guy image burned in my mind for the rest of my life" t-shirt.

MRS. and MR.(?) WASP
This classy dressed up lady came onto the bus tonight with her cell phone against one ear and several "Club Monoco" "MEXX" and "JACOB" bags in her hands. She sat down behind me and I could hear practically everything she said on the phone. Mostly it was, "Well, she is your daughter too. You deal with her, I can't be doing all the work all of the time you know. [pause] Oh, thats rich. YOU actually doing something worthwhile with your time tonight? [pause] I'm the one who keeps things together without any help from you. [pause] Please, spare me the details..." etc etc paraphrased and such. Eventually she got off the bus and continued back talking the man on the other end of the phone while she disappeared behind a building.
Conclusion?
Remove the stinger and seek counselling.

THE FAT LADY
This lady, no word of a lie was at least 350 lbs and took up 3 of the bus seats at the front. I was sitting a few rows behind her but I could feel the bus lurch forward as all the weight was shifted to the front. My favorite part was the grossly cheap leopard print jacket that she was wearing with matching scarve and gloves. It must have taken the entire pride to cover that ass. I was beginning to wonder if this lady recently came back from Thailand because if she went into the water it may explain the killer Tsunami.
Conclusion?
Don't go in the water, you'd be safer with JAWS.

THE GINO's
Picture this. Its negative 40 with the windchill factor. Im bundled with every available sweater I own and 8 pairs of socks just to keep warm. These idiots get on the bus in thin leather jackets and white capri material pants. Greasy slicked back hair, no gloves, hats, scarves or anything BUT the each had a pair of yellow or blue tinted glasses. Hopefully it kept their eyes warm. All of their cell phones rang at least once on the bus and they each spoke in the typical, "Yo whatchyou want me ta do about't" way as they gave each other high fives and playful pats on the behinds. Volume wasn't an issue for them.
Conclusion?
I guess their suped up Sunfires and Camaro's weren't working today.

THE PROSTITOTS
Much like the Gino's, these girls showed up on the bus in hiked up plaid skirts, fishnet stockings, skin tight little jackets and nothing else covering their bodies. Their makeup was painted on and their hair had so much crap in it it should have been considered a bio-hazard. It was a wonder that any of them could walk with their 20 inch stripper stilettos on the ice outside. They get several pervish glances from the men on the bus while they giggled and flaunted their little bodies out of sheer amusement. Problem? They were no more than 13 - 14 years of age.
Conclusion?
These girls are going to eventually find out that playing big people games come with big people consequences. They always learn the hard way.

THE KINDERPIMPS
They are the encouraging staff of the prostitots. They try to "mack up" the prostitots who giggle and accidently drop their hair elastic just so they can bend their still forming body over. The kinderpimps come onto the bus and nearly trip over their own pants as their asses hang out the back. Conversation between these young lads is usually no more than a few assorted words randomly thrown together. "Yo shorty, it was like DAMN she was all up in dat shit you know?" and "Hey man, dat ho is like da bomb you gotta hook a gangsta up yo".
Conclusion?
I need to find myself a box of cereal with a Johnny Quest decoder ring just to understand what these little bastards are talking about.

THE ASIANS
Don't get me wrong here, I am not racist and I love everyone but these people drive me crazy on the bus. First off, I hate not knowing what people are saying around me. I couldn't understand chinese or japanese etc. if you continually hit me with a phonebook until I learned. That however is not really my problem with the asians on the bus. My problem is with them standing in the middle off the goddamn isles with schoolbags that weigh more than they do blocking my goddamn way. I nearly didnt get off at my stop today because a gaggle of them (is that the technical term? gaggle?) anyways, they were blocking the doors for me to get out and it was like a fucking Labyrinth.
Conclusion?
How can a race of people known for their brilliance and dildo making abilities be so fucking dumb?*




*once again, totally not racist

THE CRAZY LADY WHO TALKS TO HERSELF
Not much to report here. She thought that she should go watch a movie today. She disagreed.




There were obviously more on the bus today, but I cant keep tabs on everyone. If anyone new pops up I'll be sure to let you know.



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The Purolator Man and the Blond Act II

Last night I went out with a friend of mine to a few local bars. We proceeded to get more and more drunk as the night progressed just so we could tolerate the people that were around us. By the end of the night I got home, attempted to put on pajama's but only got so far as a pair of little mini shorts and my bra before I passed out. That was 4 am.

9 am rolls along.

The door bell is ringing, someone is knocking at the door and all I can hear is, "Its the Purolator guy"

I got out of bed, didn't even attempt to find a sweater and raced downstairs to get rid of the fool because I was techincally still drunk and just wanted to go back to sleep. Needless to say the poor man nearly dropped my parcel and his jaw as I answered the door half nude and not giving a shit. I signed, wished him good day and went back to bed. Only when I got up hungover but sober at 1 in the afternoon did I realize that I just had my first porn debut. It was mediocre at best.

Right now I am off to bed, I have the internet once again so any bit of a life I managed to regain in my internet dry spell will be lost once again. Viva la laziness.

Tomorrow I shall have a humourous little blog for you addicts to indudlge yourselves in.

'Night all.
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20050111

FINAL GRADES

Before I forget, here are my final grades. (Just for bragging purposes)

Criminology - A
Police Sociology - B+
Forensics - A+

I have no idea what I have in Law class since it carries over to this semester. But judging by what I have heard from everyone in the class that got their exam back, it's not going to be pretty.
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I feel loved

Thanks everyone for the warm welcome back. Considering I left 75 degree weather for this tundra it was much appreciated. Hopefully I'll have the internet up and running soon as I clean the shit from the fan. I only get 20 mins at a time here at school to check my email and such so its a royal pain in the ass. Not to mention all the keyboards are disgusting and I feel like I have to sterilize my hands after Ive used one.

Before I end this post as I have to go get some much need groceries, I just want to remind everyone that there is still much needed help for the Tsunami Relief Disaster. Every little bit helps, so do what you can.

Perceptor, if you need a cheap place to stay in Ottawa, there are discounted hotels and such that you can find online - I don't know where else to tell you to stay, Les Suites isnt that expensive and its right downtown. If you intend on staying a week, you're looking at about 200 - 500$ depending on where you go. I hope that helps!

Cotard - Im jealous of you and your warm weather you Aussie bastard. (can you feel the love?)
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20050110

EDIT: Miss me?

As of right now I do not have the internet, I shall hopefully have it up and running by Tuesday afternoon as I am starting to go stir crazy. This post has been edited because ORIGINALLY it was saved to draft written out of spite and never to be posted. Instead of deleting it however, I ended up posting it and ended up hurting someone's feelings. I apologize for that and in the future I'll be sure to be more careful about posting things that I dont mean.

Anyways, I shall have the internet up and running hopefully by next week. I wish you all a very happy new year.

XOXOXO

Ashley
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